Well, of sorts, I say.
Why this all of a sudden, and what fanboys (and a few girls, no doubt)?
Well, I rediscovered my old Gamespot account that I created a few years back and decided if there was any place I could make my voice (sort of) heard when reviewing games, that'd be the place. See, members are allowed to make reviews too, which is nice. I'll of course put reviews up here as well, without obnoxius 1-10 score and with incoherent swearing, as the Gamespot ones will have to be PG-13 if nothing else.
So, what is it with the fanboy trolling then?
Well, I DO have a reviewer's integrity in that my statements must be supported either by examples from the games or a logic reasoning. I can't just troll for the sake of trolling, right? And what have I in mind? Well, over-rated games in general and Final Fantasy in particular.
The problem lies in that I have only played a few of them and I'll be buggered to invest more than 10€ in any FF-game, considering what my opinion of most J-RPGs usually is.
To anyone who's on the verge of screaming: "But that means you aren't being objective! You hate Final Fantasy, you meanie!"
For the record, I don't hate Final Fantasy. I don't even hate the fans, as they just creep me out. But know that all reviews are essentially the subjective opinion of the reviewer who's arguments are supported by facts taken from how the game plays, behaves and what plot there is. The basic compenents of a game: game system, graphics, sound, story and control (objectively measurable things) play into the final (subjective) opinion of the reviewer(s). And let me tell you, a professional reviewer's opinion is still going to be a hell of a lot more objective than a fanboy's opinion.
Oh, and when even fanboys want to crucify a game with blunt nails (:cough:ShadowthHedgehog:cough:) you know you are in for a massive pile of shit.
Speaking of the Sonic franchise and fans, I have never come across a bunch of more hopeless optimists who at the same time has a good distance to their own fandom, i.e pretty used to disappointment by now. But then again, ours was a NES-household so I never got that acquianted with the blue Erinaceomorph (Latin joke!), so I might be talking out of my ass here.
So, what is it with Final Fantasy then? What bugs me so?
The following points:
- Final Fantasy 7 is a seriously over-rated game! The plot suffers from "kudzu-syndrome", a term sci-fi writers/readers are familiar with. I know I plunked Lord of the Rings for having a plot that seemed made up as it went along (incidentially, it was, but Tolkien fans will never admit it!), but FF7 is an even better example of this. So much of the plot is redundant and can safely be omitted, unless Square was planning already then on releasing the mountain of spin-offs they have today, many not even seen in the West yet. That's just mean, you know. And arrogant. Don't forget arrogant. Still, it is a good game. Not great, but good. Worth playing for no other reason than that it changed how games were perceived and made.
But be warned, the plot is a "kudzu-plot". It doesn't make much sense. And AVALANCHE are the worst environmentalists I have ever seen...
-Final Fantasy 8... damn, where do I begin? Maybe I should let Spoony and VonFiedler do it for me?
This was my first FF experience, and let's just say that junctioning cannot be understood by a twelve-year-old Swede, with English as second-language. I just wanted to play the game. To have to sit through a horribly abstract junctioning tutorial was not my definition of fun. Even so, as I look back now, ten years later, FF8 is still a massive pile of horse-shit. I can't sympathise with emo git Squall, Zell and Selphie are just batshit insane ans Zeifer... er... least menacin bad-guy ever, anyone?
And I won't even get into how broken the damn battle-system is once you figure out junctioning.
Horse-shit.. yeah, that sums FF8 up very well.
-Final Fantasy X or 10. This is a game I have yet to fully acquiant myself with, but as said, I am not prepared to cough up nearly 20€ for the platinum ed. and then play this. What pisses me off with it? That they had a brilliant system such as the Sphere skill grid that had a lot of potential to make the game fucking brilliant, and blow it all away by allowing characters to "invade" each others' skill areas, by-passing any semblance of strategy. You can turn Lulu, a black mage, into a close combat monster, should you want to? I mean, what the fuck?
Also, Gamespot's review of the game features this lovely qoute:
"Much of the game consists of your having to watch lengthy noninteractive story sequences, in which the game's plot gradually unravels in the conversations between Final Fantasy X's protagonists."
Stuff like that only puts me off a game. I know the Japanese have a very different take on the whole "role-playing game"-thing, but I still think the keyword is "game" here; the G in RPG. Also, note "playing", an active verb if there ever was one.
Okay, so the plot in FF10 is epic, but the thing is the voice-acting, which can't be turned off, is fucking atrocious. Just search YouTube for "FFX laughing scene" or "FFX final boss fight" to see what I mean.
And that's not going into the rather creepy character models, who seem to be smiling, all the time, as if they'd been blasted by a puff of Smilex gas (Batman joke!). It's fucking creepy. "Tidus, the world's about to end; will you stop fucking smiling, you twat!"
Explain to me, again, why I should blow 20€ on this, when I already see stuff I will hate with the game, after reading a Gamespot review (that was very positive, mind you) and a quick YouTube search?
Oh yeah; cherished reviwer integrity. Fuck.
-Final Fantasy 12 is actually one that has gotten some stick, even from fans, but I think it is because the skill system doesn't allow you to do anything until you have a skill for it, especially sword fighting. Let me tell you a thing as far as sword fighting is concerned: unless you have training in it, you won't be able to hit the broad side of a barn with a longsword. So, having to train/buy a skill in FF12 is actually closer to reality than one might think.
Also, there are no random battles. Gold star!
So, end of days, I think that FF12 is a game I might invest in some day. At least I'll do that before I buy FF10.
So, there you have it. I know some fanboys will want to kill me with big sticks for even daring to go against their opinions on games, but this is my opinions. Not really reviews, as I haven't supported my claims enough, but I think the point comes across anyway.
Anyway, my first review over at Gamespot, and here, will be of God of War. I started playing that in March 2008 and I have still to finish it, as months pass without me playing games.
SHAME ON ME!
I'll rectify that sin during Christmas break, so don't worry.
Inga kommentarer:
Skicka en kommentar