Valkyrie Diaries writing guide for fanfiction: part 5

5. Past and present tense:

If you choose to write in novel style, a different set of guidelines apply. All dialogue, unless it's internal dialogue (i.e thinking), is written within quotation mark, single or double, just be consistent. Quotes within quotes are dealt by using the other kind of quotation mark; single within a double, and double within single. Also, unless characters are retelling past events, their speech should be direct and thus in present tense. It is possible to deliver speech in an indirect manner, though it does take a lot of flow out of the writing and should more be considered a stylistic choice of some authors. Swedish author and journalist Jan Guillou is fond of this in his novels about Knight Templar Arn Magnusson.
Now descriptions are a slightly more difficult kettle of fish, so this is where people tend to go wrong. They are always, ALWAYS, written in past tense, even if the story is delivered from a first-person perspective (like Dan Abnett's Eisenhorn-novels, for example). Don't write in present tense when describing things in a novel-style story.
Why?
Think of it like this: you are as the author retelling a story with direct quotes from the people involved. They are not likely to say what they said in the past tense.
We can take an example from my own early Space Outlaw stories. It's from An Officer and a Gentle-ED.

Example 1.

What we see next is easy to describe. A hill in the middle of a crop field, and a distant rumbling
sound, that gets closer and closer until....
"YAAHOOO!!!"
"EDDY! Don't you think that you can slow down a bit!?"
A motor-cycle combination, about twice the size of a Harley Davidson (yes, twice), roars over the
hillside. A flame-thrower is mounted on the side-car. Same blue colour on the bike as on the Space
Outlaw armour.

Now, here's how I'd write it today:

Example 2.

The crops spread out for what seemed like an eternity. There were hills scattered about here and there. One particular hill was larger than the others, seemingly surrounded by the smaller hills. In the distance, a low rumbling from an engine could be heard. It came closer and closer until-
"YAHOO!"
"Eddy!" Double Dee screamed as he clung to the side-car of the large motorcycle for dear life. "Do you think you could slow down a bit!?"
The motorcycle was a very large combo-bike. It took the large hill easily and landed with a dull thud. It had the same blue hue as the armour worn by Edd and Eddy. The side-car, in which Double Dee was getting just a little bit bike-sick, sported a pintle-mounted flamethrower.

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See how Example 1 not only tries to describe in present tense; it also shifts from present to past tense more than once. Imagine reading an entire story (10'000+ words) of that? Ouch!
Now, Example 2 is about as long as Example 1. but flows better and gives us more information of what is happening. Also, Example 1. actually bleeds into what I'll cover next.